The despair is gone; it left pretty quickly compared to other times that I dealt with it.
Some people describe it as despression but the label is not particularly important to me.
When I struggle with despair like I did last weekend, I was filled with lies--lies telling me that I was completely alone, that the future could never be good, that some things can never be redeemed, and that God will always be silent. I couldn't silence those lies with simple positive thinking because it was not just a few negative thoughts but an attack at my heart because it hit my hopes and loves.
I needed several things and knew it. I needed the attack to stop. I needed truth. And I needed hope.
Each day this week, I'll post one thing that God used to drive away my despair and give me hope.
The first thing that I needed, but didn't know was to hear my dad say that he was coming up. He didn't know what I was going through, he came up for another reason, but him coming destroyed the lie that I was completely alone.
In Habakkuk 3, Habakkuk asks for God to ride once more to the rescue of his people. There is a human need for someone bigger and stronger to come as a hero to our rescue. I was a little ashamed that I still needed my Dad to do that for me; I'm supposed to be a man now, right? But Dad came and he reminded me of God who has and does and will ride to the rescue of his people--riding across the universe and splitting the heavens.
Just wait. Hold on.